Step 14 - Eat up, buttercup.

Mmmm. A freshly cooked home meal, every night, on the table at 6pm. It's clockwork.

The student diet has done a lot to keep me thin. Between biking EVERYWHERE and counting lentils as my main protein, I didn't worry too much about calories. When I moved up here, I pretty much assumed I would put on weight. The long winter, inhospitable temperatures, and hearty meals assured me of that. And though I have yet to pack on the pounds, I take comfort in four little words: “women of the north.”

Within my first month of moving here, I heard this powerful phrase. As the story goes, a friend had just moved up and was eating in a cafeteria. A some-what crazy older woman sat down and saw what she was eating. The women informed my friend that she had to eat more and put on a healthy layer of fat. With hands in the air and voice raised, she declared that we are, after all, “women of the north!”

Food in Fort McMurray, as in so many other places, tends to be the cornerstone of community. The dinner table is where friends gather, share laughs, and fight elbow to elbow for the chocolate cheesecake. In this case, it took teamwork to get all our desires deserts back to the table:

The German cannot get over what he calls “American sized portions.” He makes all the noise in the world about how large the restaurant servings are and then proceeds to eat the entire thing. He also finds the sizes of our potlucks overwhelming, but cannot resist their allure for long.

And just to make sure he is thoroughly embarrassed (so easy to do to Germans), his first Big Mac. “Ugh, it is disgusting how you Americans can eat this” he said as he devoured the cardboard burger. For the record, I had a salad.

Similarly, co-workers find it hard to contain themselves when presented with unwholesome amounts of food at a staff meal.

Even the well disciplined Cheetham's cannot subdue their joy at the taste of my first ever “moose loaf.” I believe that continued efforts on the cooking front will lead to even more productive relationships with the locals, who take their culinary endeavors very seriously:

So when I am sitting there with a bowl of chocolates calling my name, I take comfort in that powerful phrase “women of the north!” And then I help myself to another.

Step 13- Stay active.

Seriously, this is the scene when I get home from work at 4:20 pm. It is so easy to be inactive! With the snow and the -30 degree weather and the near complete lack of sunlight, it's hard to be motivated.

Staying active has a lot to do with what the social workers call “self-care.” For example, yesterday I was alone in the office and had an intoxicated, irate man come in and demand that I fix his problem. After having him up in my grills and being quite certain I would loose a tooth, and street worker I know popped in to get needles and dealt with him for me. It was pretty crazed.

And the best thing to do after something like that? Go play soccer. Soccer has become a HUGE stress relief. I get to run around and kick a ball. The hip checks are really good at letting steam out, though I do get a lot of red cards. Who knew organized physical violence could be such a great coping mechanism?

And what would life be without random limbo parties?

Even while at work, my friend and I take breaks in the afternoon to go for walks. Of course we always have reasons to head out: the mail has to be delivered or something needs to be picked up. It just so happens that we need to walk to the post office box farthest from the office and maybe had to hit up the mall while picking up supplies:

Work involves other forms of activity too, like moving furniture for our housing clients. I should note that we only look this happy while moving furniture because we had just eaten a whole bucket of Mary Brown's chicken. That may have offset the benefits of the cardio work, but only a little.

I am lucky, too, to have a forest in the backyard. This, of course, means hikes and snowshoeing. Last week, when it was -40 with windchill, I could only stay out for 30 minutes at a time. You get tired SO quickly, but I was warned by someone that "if you sit down for a rest, that's where they'll find your body the next day." The body temperature drops quicker that your heart rate. So, as a good friend, I made Jessica make me a snow angle. You know, to keep her warm:

Then there are the weekend walks in the rare and precious sunshine. Granted, this walk was to get a movie, which we watched indoors with the lights off while the sun was shining. Meh- it's the thought, right?

So staying active has just become part of the challenge, I guess. I am not going for the $75 a month gym membership. I honestly don't believe that I will be willing to put on my snow gear for the walk from the parking lot to the gym and back. It's quite a shift to go from the gym 4 days a week, and 40 or so kilos a day on the bicycle to sedentary sloth (is their any other kind?). But hey, who needs cardio around here? Half the year it is too cold to breathe deeply outside.

Step 12- Engage with the indigenous population.

Winter wishes? Yeah, I wish my truck didn't look like this every morning when I want to get to work:

Just about all possible physical activity has moved indoors. The pick-up soccer league, once enjoyed in long-johns and fleece, has now moved inside the rec centre. Walks with friends have to be less than 45 minutes, or you need to wear a balaclava.

Now that the great outdoors is closed off for any great lengths, it's time to explore alternatives. There aren't really places to hang out here, or things to go and do. (As a caveat, there are a few nightclubs and strip bars, but that's not really my scene... ) You have to make your own fun. And that's the kind of fun I like. Locals will often go to great lengths to entertain themselves. The young men in particular are prone to playing with high velocity projectiles. Here are some of the guys, working on a potato cannon:

There is a really strong sense of community here. The mentality is that we are all in this together, so we should all make the best of it. One group of friends I have gotten connected with has dinner together at somebodies house every Sunday. There were about 20 of us there last week. Following soccer, and then the meal, we talk and play games. The locals' houses become hang outs. And we use whatever we can to have a laugh. Like board games, card games (can you name this one?), and multi player moving ping pong:

This last Sunday we had a young mum join us with her daughter. Here we are strategizing our moves against our unsuspecting opponents:

The snow and freezing conditions outside make evenings like this seem so much cozier. There are these little islands of warmth and light and merriment that dot the icy landscape. And, on more youthful days, the locals will still venture outside for a rousing round of Kick the Can or Cops and Robbers. Some are sorer losers than others...

It's really amazing that households will open their houses to all of these loud and strange people every week. It is a really neat kind of dependency. It is kind of like people up here need each other and look out for one another. People offer help in very tangible ways. People are very generous with their time (and houses) and are very welcoming of new faces. And that goes for everyone- oil barons and unemployed youth. People talk in grocery store line ups. One persons problem is every bodies problem. And those of us who LIVE here, not the fly in and fly out residents, know that this town is what you make of it. And the locals make it great.

Step 11- Participate in local rituals.

I am having a great time up here. I have a job that is diverse and rewarding. I live with great people. I get to learn all sorts of new stuff about living somewhere so cold. And to make sure I am doing all I can to fit in, I am taking part in local rituals.

As part of the Northerners way of life, the locals look for opportunities to sit outside in well below freezing weather. I hypothesize that this is to ensure they truly appreciate the somewhat warmer temperatures inside. Thousands of people will gather to sit on metal benches, wrapped in parkas and blankets, to participate in drinking Tim Horton's boxed coffee and watching a rubber puck being shot over ice. And when a McMurray native asked if I would care to participate in this ritual, I, of course, said yes. Who passes up an opportunity to sit in subzero temperature for 3 hours?!? And hey, the ticket was free...

This is at the Junior AA Mens Hockey tournament (or some other combination of words). There were almost 6000 people there! It is the first time this tournament has ever been held outside- a fact that EVERY announcer had to yell through the microphone. “We are making history!!!” The game night was a balmy -12. Tiffany and I arrived an hour early to get good seats, put our cushions down, and get riled up for the McMurray Oil Barons. The snowed stopped just long enough to watch the game. So here it is.

Getting settled:

Pre-game Zamboni:

Waiting for the game to start with a giant foamy finger, a digital camera, and Tiffany, who came up with a ticket for me:

The stage with live entertainment! That's how you know it's a REAL sporting event:

The game. I started out cheering for the other team, the Drayton Valley Thunder, till people started actually turning around and sneering at me. When the Thunder got a goal, half the crowd would boo:

My dog sledding outfit. Some people were wearing jeans and windbreakers! I was nice and warm with my blanket and down filled layers. I believe it is best to be prepared to compete in the Ididarod at all times. During the game, a cycle of "the wave" went around no less than 10 times. I think people were doing it to get moving and warm up. During intermissions, everyone stands up and walks on the spot to get the blood back into the toes:

Tiffany getting cold (bet you wish you did the wave now...):

The bus ride back tot he parking lots:

My first outdoor hockey game. Awesome.

Step 10- Shop elsewhere.

Picture this- you are trapped in a modern day wasteland. All that you can see are tiled floors and chain stores. You scramble to find an exit but are continually sucked back in by the sale racks. It's terrifying, it's foreign, it's shopping ANYWHERE but Fort Mac.

I do not like shopping for clothes. It is one of my least favorite things. But when the mercury drops to -25 and all you own are cotton sweaters, the experience of shopping becomes more of a necessity of survival than anything else. I had to get real clothes. Clothes made of wool and fleece and poly pro. It was time to shop big or go home.

It is hard to go shopping here in Fort because of the limited access. In October I went to the Mark's Work Wear House to buy wool socks and they didn't have any. The most recent shipment just hadn't come in. And that was it- there was no other place to go to buy good wool socks. Today I want to the store to buy a sewing pattern for some new pants, only to discover that the WalMart doesn't sell patterns here. In fact, NO ONE DOES. You can't purchase them in Fort. You just cannot get them! Every once in a while you run into a road block like that which reminds you that you live in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

Now, I know what you are thinking. “Kate, stop exagerating, we know you have a Zellers- how bad could it be?” You are partially right. We here in Fort are blessed with a Zellers, Walmart, and a Superstore in which to buy your clothes. We even have our own take on up-scale shopping: Suzy Shier. Here, take a look at the shoe rack at the local Suzy Shier:

And even groceries can get sparse. Smart people shop at the Superstore on Friday because the fresh stock comes in on Thursday nights. Here is the beef counter on a Tuesday, 3 days away from being restocked:

Note the LACK OF BEEF. Knowing that my options are limited and I am running out of time to buy warm clothes, I made the most of the week of meetings I just attended between Toronto and Edmonton. I got to see a bunch of friends in each city, and made each of them struggle with me through the arduous task that is shopping. But first, a picture of my airport dinners. Nothing like poutine and Battlestar Galactica to get you through your 2 hour delay:

Tanya met up with me in Toronto. She is my shopping guru. She is the only person I know who understands that I find shopping really personally challenging, and she times herself accordingly. Here we are enjoying the ONE photo we got together while in Toronto. Note the new hat she encouraged me to buy:

In Edmonton, I left the conference early both days to hit up the malls with my friend Brittany. We put in a good 3 hours on the first day, and then another 3 the following day at West Edmonton Mall. This was, perhaps, my most productive shopping. More sweaters, sports wear, and a bikini (it was on sale!). Here we are taking a break at West Ed:

And this is the teddy bear I ALMOST bought at Winners. Unfortunately, it didn't quite fit into my carry on luggage. But hey, check out the bag- I actually bought something! This is a new personal high for me!

Things are getting cold enough that I have to wear snow pants and boots when I drive out of town- that way, if I skid off the road and it takes a while for someone to find my unconscious body, I will last more than 15 minutes without heat. It is regularly -20. It doesn't seem bad when you have all your layers. The snow drifts in waves across the roads. And the moon is so bright and clear in the sky. It is actually quite beautiful.

Ha! As if Fort Mac looks like this. It is so Edmonton. I would have posted pictures of all my beautiful sweaters, but I really didn't think that would be of universal interest...

Step 9- Gather provisions.

25 and still alive! Who would have imagined? With an affinity towards guns, motorcycles, and climbing things, I was uncertain I would make it this long. And to celebrate the occasion, I got to go into the woods and do just what I wanted: go of road, play with guns, and laugh with family. And hey, putting delicious, premium quality meat on the table certainly doesn't hurt. It was Tara's birthday too! Double the celebration! (I have no idea what my hand is doing, or what that hat is about. Let's just go with it.)

For the last 2 weeks I have been living in camp outside of Kelowna. It is hunting season and I got a moose draw in the region with my Uncle Mike. The trip started with a 17 hour non-stop drive to Kelowna. The only time I put on the brake, apart from gassing up, was where the mountains and sun were so beautiful I had to take it in.

Now, when I say camp, what I should say is 'the settlement,' because camp is more than a tent. Camp was made up of two log framed tent houses and three trailers. There were 12 of us there, including 4 children under the age of 5. And then there was the fire pit. The fire pit is to the camp what the television is to the living room. We actually even spent time spreading wood chips on the path some of them cleared through the bush to get to 'our' meadow. Here is what half the camp looked like:

Most all daylight hours were spent driving the back roads hunting. And here is what I got!

This is my first kill. Sure I have popped a few grouse, but this is my first animal on the table. My dad spotted it and I shot it. It took an hour to track and four to pack out of the woods. I 'whacked' it on the first day of the hunt. The meat is fantastic. I made some up last night and it tastes great! I now have 250lbs of antibiotic, growth hormone free super lean meat in the freezer. I won't have to purchase meat till well into next hunting season. I have ground, stewing meat, sirloin tip steaks, roasts, and even heart! We all celebrated that night.

The next day was just as exciting, though, as Mike's grandson almost succeeded in chopping Mike's finger off with an ax. I took him down to the hospital and they were able to close it up and reset the bone. And here is the kicker; because of my job, I keep condoms in my purse for when I meet up with commercial sex workers. It just so happens that a condom is about the best cover you can get for a finger bandage. We were all too willing to put one on Mike's finger for the rest of the week. Sexual health education comes to the rescue again!

Note the black condom- chocolate flavored.

Tara whacked a sweet mule deer right in the skull, cracking the head bone and flipping it right over on it's back. And Brooke shot her cow moose, a tender immature one, right in the jugular! It was a fantastic shot! Through the trees and everything. We are some serious hunters. I wish I had the photos of all of us in front of our skinned and hanging meat- it was awesome.

As it turns out, only the women got meat this trip. And that's what this trip was about- getting all of us ladies out into the woods and comfortable with the whole hunting process. My cousin Hailey was elbow deep in moose guts when she field dressed Brooke's moose. And having the kids there was a treat- it is amazing how much fun kids make for themselves when they are away from everything! That goes for all of us- somebody was up to something just about all the time. We all just love gettin' er done.

I am off in Toronto now for a bit then Edmonton for more meetings. By the end of the month I will have spent a total of 9 days in Fort! Just as well; starting December, I won't drive on the highway out of here. This was one great way to kick off the long season.